Originally published in Business Insider

By Jen O’Neal

The bro culture of Silicon Valley is getting long-overdue scrutiny thanks to recent reports of inappropriate sexual behavior by disgraced venture capitalists.

It’s been amazing to see the swift demise of Jason Caldeck, Chris Sacca and Dave McClure.

As a woman who has worked in tech since 2000, none of this surprises me.

One of my first-ever pitch meetings was at the Rosewood, a luxury hotel at the top of Sand Hill Road in Palo Alto.

I had been too nervous to sleep the night before, practicing my pitch and flipping through slides in my head.

But by the following afternoon I was excited to tell my story and I eagerly awaited the VCs in the hotel lobby.

We grabbed a table in the main bar and I dove right in. Market size, product screenshots, revenue estimates — I was pitching my heart out, sharing my vision with the guys who could help us turn it into reality.

One of them was polite and attentive, asking good questions and taking notes.

His middle-aged partner, however, was leaning back in his chair, scanning the room and barely listening. A cocktail waitress interrupted my pitch for a few seconds as she placed drinks in front of us. Then she turned to walk away.

“Check out her a–,” the older VC said, mostly to his partner but glancing over at me, lifting his right eyebrow and holding my gaze as he said it.

I was mid-sentence. Stunned, I kept right on with my pitch.

But questions tumbled in my mind as I spoke. I asked myself: What am I supposed to do? Tap him on the arm and ask him to pay attention? Agree that our waitress is nicely proportioned, just to find common ground with him?

Roll my eyes and laugh it off, as if to say, bros will be bros? Calling him a jerk didn’t seem like a good idea, either. I had a real responsibility to my employees and feared that we’d never get funding if VCs saw me as a troublemaker.

For the record, the VC in question was not Caldbeck or Sacca or McClure. And it wasn’t the VC I met the following year, who said he wanted to fund our Series A and then texted me his hotel room number. And it wasn’t the VC who only addressed my male cofounder during our Series B pitch.

Today, I wouldn’t hesitate to check them. Back then, though, I did what many women in male-dominated industries do many times over, every single day. I ignored it and moved on.

This behavior is unacceptable and yet it’s tolerated. Why? Because VCs hold all the cards.

Without capital, most ideas die on the vine. So when you’re a new entrepreneur, you desperately need someone to believe in you, to fund you, to help you bring your idea to life.

I’ve watched too many female founders put up with a little harassment here and a few unwanted advances there, so that they can afford to pay their employees and push their vision one step further. It’s not a fair trade-off but, with VCs in control of the purse strings, sometimes it seems like the only option.

The real problem is that this behavior doesn’t stop with the VCs.

Their attitudes and actions cascade through their portfolio companies and into their portfolio companies’ cultures. If these guys (and yes, most investors are guys) don’t act like mature and respectful adults, should we be surprised that some male founders (and yes, most tech founders are guys) and some of their male employees (and yes, most tech employees are guys) act like sexist jerks too?

When things get out of hand, as they certainly seem to be right now (ask anyone at Uber), VCs should be the first and most prominent ones to push for change and demand discipline, behavioral as well as financial.

Until these big money players step up, this cycle of dysfunction will continue.

I am encouraged by Reid Hoffman, co-founder of LinkedIn, who last week condemned Caldbeck and urged consequences for sexual harassment and other inappropriate behavior towards women. I was happy to see investors like Mitch Kapor speak up in support of female founders. And I admire all of the women who have stepped forward to change the status quo.

Obviously, not all guys in the valley are cads.

In light of the news swirling around the tech world right now, it’s worth mentioning that there are lots of great investors out there, too. One of our Board members just invested in FLEX, a feminine hygiene company.

Another hosted Melon HK, a science fiction conference in Hong Kong where nearly half of the speakers were women (a crazy high ratio compared to most tech conferences). And upon signing the closing docs of our Series C, our newest investor said it hadn’t occurred to him that they were investing in a female-led company until I thanked him for it.

Change is coming to Silicon Valley, thanks to investors like these who put their money behind both men and women. Change is coming, thanks to the VCs who are calling out their peers for bad behavior. And change is coming faster than ever now, thanks toLindsey Meyer, Susan Fowler, Niniane Wang, Susan Ho, Leiti Hsu, Cheryl Sew Hoy, and other strong women who are stepping forward.

It’s time for gender to be removed from the equation, so that ideas and innovation can take center stage.

Jen O’Neal is founder and CEO of Tripping.com, the leading search engine for vacation rentals. The company is based in San Francisco and has raised $55 million from investors in Silicon Valley, Asia and Europe.